...I'm surprised by sex. And lots of it.
24 days of Christmas
Each day of Christmas, I'll be reviewing a Christmas movie and sharing a new Christmas outfit. There was a lot of busy work at our place today and it was horribly hot. This is no excuse for the abundance of boobs, so for that I apologise.
I thought this tee went quite nicely with today's movie, although I think I'd say today's movie was a little more than 1% naughty. It was a good one.
And here's another gem of an Aussie Christmas carol.
On day fifteen I find a new Christmas movie producer and I'm loving it.
the Trouble with Mistletoe - 4/5 reindeer headbands that are, in fact, not penises
So...this one... What can I say about this one...? I was...taken completely off-guard by this one. I can't decide it I loved it or LOVED it. How best to describe this movie? Well, think of all those steamy romance novels you love so much and add Christmas - I know there are plenty of Christmas ones, I just haven't got that far yet - but in movie-form. Unsurprisingly then, this one was a book first and I am definitely putting it on my TBR. The book was by Jill Shalvis and, if you're interested, there's a nice double review over on the Book Boyfriend Addict - these guys are new to me, but won't be for long.
To start with, I'd forgotten the premise entirely. So when hubby asked me how they could possibly be playing twenty-eight year olds, I was super confused. Allow me to expand. This movie is about a young woman Willa (Rachel Melvin) who has to fight both her head and her heart when she starts falling for the guy who stood her up in high school ten years earlier. The guy, Keane - such a romance male lead name - (Thomas Beaudoin) has zero idea who she is and this causes a blip of problem when he finally confronts her about why she's holding back from their animal magnetism. Now, I had very little problem with their animal magnetism. It was hot. Like, these two were scorching even compared to an Aussie summer. My only grumble is that he kept telling her instead of asking her - "have dinner with me", "have coffee with me". Like, come on Keane, you've got the makings of a beta boy in the streets and an alpha in the sheets, would a question mark kill you?
There was a lot good about this movie though. A LOT. It was full of sexual innuendo, brilliant jokes I almost missed they were so quick, some over-protective BFFs we didn't see nearly enough of, a naughty cat, a Christmas-themed dog wedding, many a heart flutter, and sex. Like a lot of sex. I'm not talking fade to black, kick the door closed behind them, you know they're doing the business sex. Actual sex. It's not porn-y R-rated or anything, you don't see any bits. But they are sex scenes I was not expecting and I certainly didn't mind. I was there for it. Don't have time for a steamy holiday romance novel? Get your eyes around this movie. Did I mention there was a glimpse of male cleftal horizon? There was. And it was quite nice.
So, this one earns a solid 4/5 reindeer headbands that are, in fact, nothing like penises. I don't know who Passionflix are, but I'm going off to see what else of theirs I can find.
If you've got a suggestion for a movie, leave it in the comments. You can find the play-by-play below the trailer.
You can check out the trailer below (fingers crossed there isn't any regional bollocks that gets in the way).
the Trouble with Mistletoe brain vomit:
Passionflix - don't know who or what they are, but okay. Not Netflix so I'm happy.
Strong start. Any movie that starts with a Christmas song is always more promising.
It is definitely VERY Christmassy. And I see she's the one who LOVES Christmas
Oh a fountain wish, always a good thing
Puppies!!! This movie is heading for 5 star status.
Christmas is supposed to have thrown up on Dec 1.
Haha, penis headbands! But...they don't look penises.
Toss another coin in the fountain? I feel like that's too many coins close together. This can't possibly go wrong.
So...so what does she have? A boarding kennel? A pet store? A vet? All of the above?
Keane Wynnters... that's a name. I'm just not convinced he's hot enough to pull that off.
They're not penises! OMG - it's December and they've got bells on. Only an idiot would think they're penises. Don't marry that one, Willa.
Oh, flashback. Always good.
Ah, so she's been tossing a penny in since she wanted Keane to notice her. Cliché much?
I love the house though.
Not her house. Sad face.
What was that? He had a dizzy spell because magic penny?
No, heights phobia. Boring.
Out of staples? She's not an idiot. Is she?
Dog wedding. In December. Christmas themed. Oi.
Archer and Spencer. They can handle those names.. Only best friends? No. Bad brain.
Naw, they're all BFF bravado on him.
Aw! All the puppers are at the wedding!
Fastest wedding in history?
Oh God. This movie is all sorts of suggestive. Much better than Hallmark 😜
Animal magnetism? Rofl. Nice.
Minor-league swearing, innuendo, sex jokes. Brilliant.
Bahaha!! Mistletoe on the door.
He's just a little...flat as an actor.
Oh, another flashback!
Story of redemption! Maybe...not convinced.
Oh, young Keane has it going on though.
Oh, yes with the constant finding each other right in front of their damned faces.
No Christmas decorations in a house you're renovating?? No. Of course not, you goober.
Go crazy isn't my favourite phrasing. I get to use it because I'm totes crazy and proud.
Yeah, don't even let the car stop. Good work you numpty.
Why don't I remember you? Because you're an arsehole? What about me was so forgettable?
Shirtless scene. Because necessary.
Oh, getting him up the ladder. Naughty kitty. But good on him for not even hesitating.
What...what does he do with his hands? Asking for a friend…
Oh, ominous much Great Aunt Sally?
Now he's in a cardigan.
Don't pull out the line your great aunt pulled on you on Willa!! Ugh. Lame-o
Also, stop telling her what to do. Ask her for coffee. Don't tell her to have coffee.
I bet you could make him come the same time each year no matter the weather...
Load and loads of qualm.
Yeah, but then you'll be the true love he finds so it's really for you.
Oh, they both share a belief that love isn't for them.
Girdle your loins...gird your loins? I'm sure it's gird. Maybe it's from girdle. Like the building kind of girdle?
Why is the great aunt a plot thread? This seems overkill. I mean, I don't hate it, but I was hoping for something a little lighter and fluffier…
Why is he waiting for his Christmas cheer to kick in? That seems sad and...sad.
Christmas karaoke. Good. But they murdered that song. Bad.
Stop telling her what to do! Would it kill you to use a question mark? It's not sexy, dude. It's rude.
Good old-fashioned fun? There's been no fun.
Nothing I feel about you's old-fashioned. Rofl, so they both just wanna bone then.
Can't decide if that demanding kiss was hot or rude...gah. Can't decide. Can't decide. Want to say rude. But... kinda hot.
Why is he up high again?
Why can he climb the stairs but can't sit on a scaffold the same height…?
HA! Sex joke!
Tool belts are very sexy. She is not wrong.
Rofl - this movie's innuendo is fun and totally unexpected.
HA! She stuck her arse in the air and he did the swoon thing.
More closeness. Yas. Kiss again already! KISS!
Yes. The dog.
He said a rude word! There was an f-bomb in my Christmas movie. Three of them! Hello.
Heh, he's on a roof for her. So...kind of sweet? I'm gonna go sweet.
Naw… totes sweet 😍😍
And now they sex?
Oh and there's a convenient sex couch of the roof.
And she is undressing him.
They are actually going to sex. Okay. Didn't see that. Pleasantly surprised. Ha! And they're sexing to a Mistletoe song.
Is it...is it not cold up there…?
So much sex. There is so much sex.
At least there's also giggling and smiles. That's the good kind of sex.
I'm not even going to ask about the condom because I honestly don't care. To consenting adults? I'm there.
But now he wants strings.
Oh I do so like that he keeps popping up for that innuendo.
Sex voice. Lol. Apparently hubby didn't know that was a thing.
Aw, so they vaguely fit in the title into the story.
He's not fussed she's half naked in bright red... they're Harry Potter pjs!!!
Oh, and he read the books. Damn boi.
I am also always hungry.
Nothing in common but weird and annoying chemistry and Harry Potter. What more do you need, woman?
Ah, liquid dinner. Dinner of champions.
Backwards through the front door. More sex.
And weirdly intense undressing.
Was that Christmas boxers?
Well, that took a turn.
I've been running. On purpose? She's my kinda woman.
Yes. Shower sex. Do it.
God the sexual chemistry of these two is ridiculous.
Man butt!!! There was man butt!! There was also cat butt in hubby's face.
Oh, just standard checkered boxers like the ones I see every day. Boring.
Something I'd like to give you. Oh hunny, I think you gave that to her already.
A key? A house key? Oh...well, this took another turn.
Oh, and her issues are going to blow this up. I like it.
Another f-bomb! I like Passionflix.
I am so jealous of her Christmas sweaters.
Oh, but she reached out. Good for her.
Don't distract him while he's driving. I mean, cute moment, but still...crash hazard, love.
No, we're not selling the...wait. What?? What is he doing? We've had the PORD. What is this bullshit?
Wait…? Yes…? Hang on! No! What's happening. I'm so confused. I need more. Answers. What is going on??
Being dragged into adulthood kicking and screaming? Is that not how we're supposed to go…? I thought that's just how you did it…
And the cat just hit stop. Like, no, I don't need a resolution or anything. Jesus!
There is literally one tree. I wonder which one they're gonna pick.
Tree guy has a hot date with the missus at almost midnight on Christmas eve? They're going out…?
Yeah, good luck, Willa.
How long are they going to stay out there? Until I get my life together. Do they know it's gonna take a while? 😂😂😂 Burn.
Easy affection. Oh my.
Yes. It was you.
Oh, they're both admitting fault. That's nice, though.
Yay! Family home!
Naw 😍😍😍 he's asking her to move in. Gah, the flutters. It gave me the flutters.
Yes. BFF approval.
I need more Spencer and Archer in my life.
Naw! Mistletoe. More smooching. More Christmas tunes.
Yas. All the yas. That was lovely.
I give it 4/5 festive candy canes.