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On the seventeenth day of Christmas...

...I need a nap. But I'm not giving up.

24 days of Christmas

Each day of Christmas, I'll be reviewing a Christmas movie and sharing a new Christmas outfit.

Day 17 sees me way behind on posting - I got the movies watched and the reviews written, but just didn't get to the posting until now. So, my tee reflects my attitude a bit today. Add in the fact that I am STILL behind on my writing and I'm this close to being over it all. Still. I'm not giving up! Yet.

Today's Aussie Christmas carol is brought to you by Scraping the Barrel.

Day seventeen and we're back on Netflix. I couldn't help myself.

the Christmas Chronicles - 4/5 stars

So I watched this one last year, but it turns out I'd completely forgotten ALL of it. As I was watching it, I wasn't surprised by anything that had happened as though I was expecting it, but I did know I expected it...if that makes sense...

Either way, last year Hubby fell asleep during it and has since been telling me it was boring. I quote, "it wasn't even one of those times I was tired and fell asleep. It was so boring I didn't bother trying to not fall asleep." But I wanted to do it because I enjoyed it. And - haha - he informed me it wasn't as bad as he'd thought it was and I got a gold star for it being an acceptable movie. I'm not really sure what I had to do with it, but look I'll take it.

This movie was a great little family flick. We start out with a montage of fun family Christmas videos - which you just know means something awful is about to happen - and then we pull away to reveal that, yes! Something awful has happened. So it is, the first Christmas after their dad's death that Teddy and Kate Pierce and their mum are just trying to get through Christmas with their new reality. Kate (played by Darby Camp) is sweet but knows more swear words than I remember knowing at ten. Teddy (played by Judah Lewis) is BUTT LOADS of teen angst, like he gives Edward Cullen a run for his money in some bits. But I'm there for it, because the dude does actually have depth and he gave me a giggle on more than one occasion. Also, if I was...half my age, he'd be a very attractive young man - not that that's in anyway relevant (damn, getting old).

Now, Teddy and Kate do not get along at all, much to the chagrin of their mother. Left home alone on Christmas Eve, Kate somehow manages to convince her grumpy older brother to help her get real video footage of Santa Claus (seriously, I feel so weird calling him that...but he was played by Kurt Russell, so...). The two of them go all Home Alone on the house and lie in wait with their junk food to catch Santa in the act. Naturally, they get him and follow him outside, cut to Kate climbing into the sleigh (which is STUNNING, btw) and Teddy following, and suddenly you have a recipe for disaster. Kate causes Santa to freak the hell out and the sleigh crashes. Santa loses his sack and his hat, and the race is on to get everything back on track so that Christmas cheer doesn't die and the world is plunged into another Dark Ages.

Can I just say that the chemistry between Judah Lewis and Kurt Russell was off the charts. They played off each other so well. Every time they were on screen together, I really didn't see any need for Kate to be there (sorry...), especially when her input was really just questioning everything Santa did. That's not to say I didn't like Kate, I just REALLY appreciated the interplay between Lewis and Russell.

I like this movie. And I know it's becoming painfully obvious that I basically love every Christmas movie and I'm trying super hard to be discerning. But, I did just really love this movie. It had fun and laughter and excellent holiday vibes. I'm still trying to work out why it was called the Christmas Chronicles - will there be sequels? What are they chronicling? Is the book a chronicle? Like I need answers!! But, I'll allow the lack of confusion...for now and award this one 4/5 magical Santa hats.

If you've got a suggestion for a movie, leave it in the comments. You can find the play-by-play below the trailer.

You can check out the trailer below (fingers crossed there isn't any regional bollocks that gets in the way).

The Christmas Chronicles brain vomit:

  • You know when we start with a montage of excellent family Christmases that something is going to go horribly wrong and someone is going to die.

  • Now, I have seen this before, but I really don't remember that much. I know hubby fell asleep. But that's about it.

  • No! See? Told you.

  • She wants a skateboard? She's so cool.

  • Don't be a dick, Teddy. Naw, he couldn't do it.

  • Teddy's friends just look like dicks. Oh! They are dicks!

  • Ha! Little sister for the win.

  • Bahaha! Sibling fight.

  • Is it an American thing to not put the tree and stuff up til like Christmas eve? I've noticed people on social media only doing it recently too. Where is the first day of the season??

  • Kate is a super cute kid, though.

  • There is more to Christmas than all that stuff, but...should there be?

  • Exactly how old is Teddy and his teenage crisis?

  • Poor Mum.

  • Naw, Teddy and his teen angst.

  • 😱😱😱 Santa on film?!?!?! Le gasp!

  • Everyone should wear an ugly Christmas sweater.

  • That was not the dark, Kate. That is quite clearly not the dark.


  • Swearing on Dead dad's pic is pretty serious shit.

  • He's Kevin-ing the house.

  • Mum said no junk food? What kind of ten year old is she?

  • No! Not the popcorn!

  • Santa in a leather suit. Is it bad that I immediately think yum? I want to say this is just a figment of my over active sex brain...

  • He wooshes. Like wooshes.

  • That is a nice sleigh.

  • That kid is a spider monkey

  • Elvish, eh. Obviously Tolkien didn't make it up after all.

  • Why, Kate? Why would you…? 🙄🙄 Idiot.

  • Well this is going to go well for everyone.

  • Sydney! Of course.

  • Bye reindeer!

  • They not only crashed Santa but did so quite convincingly.

  • Damn it's hot.

  • Rofl - Teddy's super cool

  • Mmm...Santa. I mean… cute and innocent hooray…?

  • Him and his damn metabolism.

  • It IS the end of the world, Teddy. Jesus. Don't you know anything?

  • Hehe, sack tracking.

  • 😂😂😂😂

  • Shenanigans!

  • If he wasn't dressed as Santa Claus, that would be really creepy… Cool, but creepy…

  • Kate...he doesn't need your help.

  • Nooooo! Not the baseball card!!!! Bitch.

  • Oh, and a lesson for Teddy. Excellent.

  • Hehe. Nice work, Wendy.

  • Down 35%? 😱😱

  • Teddy over there out legalling Santa.

  • Yeah, Santa. Slow down.

  • Don't question Santa, you idiot. Precociousness can butt off.

  • To the reindeer!! Onwards, Teddy.

  • does Teddy know how to drive so well? Like I get he steals cars. But I've been driving for like...what, thirteen years and I wouldn't know how to begin to drive like that without having crashed a few times first. This is legitimately the least believable thing about this whole movie.

  • Although, hubby has a good point… the least believable thing is probably the fact that that 20 year old camcorder still has batteries.

  • Teddy and Santa have brilliant chemistry. Like brilliant. The two of them on screen together is great. They don't even need Kate.

  • Hey, those police didn't just shoot them. What a nice change.

  • He's not even Baby Yoda, that's how not Yoda he is.

  • And exactly how does she plan to round up eight computer animated reindeer? I mean, they're animated well. But they're still animated.

  • Candy canes. Duh.

  • Santa's right into this now.

  • Hehe squish face.

  • "I don't do 'ho ho ho'". You know he's gonna do it at some point. He has to. They've made too big a deal out of it for him to not.

  • Don't tell a young man to find your sack, Santa. Geez.

  • And of course only one of the cops saw it 😂

  • Santa's all arrested now.

  • What is her thing with Comet?

  • Fa la la la la, branches.

  • It's 11:45pm and it's still 30°C. What is this bollocks? Not movie related, but bollocks nonetheless.

  • There was watermelon that needed eating, but there was a nice moment where Teddy cried.

  • Hang on...why does Santa need a sack if he can just pull toys out of his armpits??

  • I really miss biscuits.

  • Santa just sounds weird now. Like the name Santa. He's Father Christmas for cripe's sake. Is Santa like Spanish for saint? They didn't just get it wrong, it's not germanic maybe?

  • Not thugs!!

  • So I got distracted by the whole Santa thing and missed most of the her crawling through the toy sack, but I mean eh. It's cool but doesn't need that much attention.

  • In bad news, the watermelon wasn't great.

  • Where…? Where are all the elves? It's Christmas Eve...should they not be working…?

  • There are not enough letter boxes for like a whole historical collection of letters. There must be some seven year rule or something.

  • Why do the elves have tails?

  • They are cute, though.

  • Rofl - old elf.

  • What accent do they have? Is that Germanic?

  • So what's this true believer thing?

  • Why are that flossing? Is that what that dance move thing is?

  • Without a coat on, how will he pull toys out of his armpits?

  • 😱😱 Magic!

  • Impromptu Christmas jail rock concert. Okay. I dig.

  • Yes, a joke. He knew you were going to kidnap him and steal his shit so he filled it full of coal 🙄

  • Do you need some coal for that fire by chance??

  • He is compost - that's actually just sensible waste management.

  • The elves are like angry still fuzzy gremlins.

  • Where were they keeping those… Oh jesus!

  • Oh yeah, Santa's freaking out. Fo' sure.

  • Kurt's still got some moves, you know.

  • Dave is not falling for this shit.

  • Scandinavian or some such. That's what it is.

  • Turning into coal dust is an interesting one. But I guess that works for chimneys… What did he do before chimneys??

  • Yeah, you tell him what's what, Teddy!

  • Teddy's a bit thick, inne?

  • Don't fall out this time.

  • Not a great start.

  • Believe in yourself!! Believe, Teddy!

  • Don't shout at a train. Just fly the sleigh.

  • Convenient Santa turns into red wooshes you can see with the naked eye.

  • Santa is now channeling insanity. Brillo-pads.

  • Basically, you guys ain't special.

  • So he tricked them into child labour?

  • That was the scariest ho, ho, ho I have ever heard. Like, menacing.

  • Aw...he loves his sister.

  • We weren't hugging. You were hugging.

  • Now, that's Christmas decorating.

  • Where do the parents in these movies think the Santa presents come from…?

  • Le gasp. Christmas magic!

  • Oh, Bjorn.

  • I do love how Goldie Hawn makes an appearance at the end as his wife. Those two have chemistry. And it's adorable.

  • Well, I enjoyed it. Even hubby says it wasn't bad as he thought it was and that it was an acceptable movie. I apparently get a gold star.

  • I'm giving it 4/5 Santa hats. For fun and laughter and good holiday vibes. Still not sure why it was called chronicles, but I'll allow it...for now.

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